The Myth of the Balanced Woman: Honoring the Fertile Void

Jun 13

We’ve been sold a lie.

That the ultimate goal is to be "balanced." That if we just try hard enough—say the affirmations, set the boundaries, time-block our calendars—we can finally keep all the balls in the air, all the time.

But balance, as we’ve been taught, is a trap. Especially for women.

Because true balance isn’t about doing it all—it’s about doing what’s right for you in each moment. And that’s not linear. That’s rhythmic.

Why balance doesn’t work for women

Women are cyclical by nature. Our hormones, energy, creativity, and even communication styles shift throughout the month. Yet the world we live and work in was built around a 24-hour male hormonal cycle.

So when we try to force ourselves into rigid schedules and expect consistency every day, we end up:

Feeling like we’re failing when we need rest
Pushing ourselves during low-energy phases
Ignoring the wisdom of our bodies

The result? Burnout, self-doubt, and the nagging feeling that we’re just not measuring up.

Rhythmic living: a new way forward

Instead of fighting against our natural ebb and flow, what if we worked with it?

Rhythmic living is about syncing your schedule, creativity, rest, and expression with the four phases of your menstrual cycle:

Menstrual (Winter): Rest, reset, reflect
Follicular (Spring): Plan, create, begin
Ovulatory (Summer): Connect, express, share
Luteal (Autumn): Edit, complete, discern

When you embrace your inner seasons, everything begins to shift. You:

Stop burning out trying to be consistent
Learn to ride your creative waves instead of forcing output
Feel more grounded, clear, and confident

A new model for success: The Upward Cycle

This shift isn’t just personal—it’s paradigm-changing. Kate Northrup, author of Do Less, introduced a new model called the Upward Cycle of Success—a cyclical framework rooted in feminine wisdom. Unlike traditional goal-setting models that rely on linear growth and constant output, the Upward Cycle honors rest as a strategic step, not a setback.

Each phase builds on the last:

Reflect during menstruation
Initiate during follicular
Amplify during ovulation
Consolidate during luteal

In between these phases, there is what Kate calls the Fertile Void—a sacred pause that allows you to regroup, replenish, and integrate. It’s often uncomfortable because it asks us to be still. But it’s necessary. These periods of inactivity are not empty—they’re fertile. This is how we return to homeostasis, creativity, and clarity.

By following this rhythm and honoring the fertile void, you create sustainable momentum—without burnout. Kate also frames these adjustments as experiments - which I love. I was inspired to adopt some experiments of my own to see what works for me, and this shift alone, on viewing success as a non linear cycle has helped me let go of guilt.

My story: From hustle to harmony

I used to launch programs, record content, and host live events without ever checking in with where I was in my cycle. I wondered why sometimes I felt energized and clear—and other times, overwhelmed and like I was pushing a rock up a hill.

Then I discovered the power of cycle syncing.

Now I:

Rest deeply during menstruation and come back with clarity
Launch during ovulation when I feel most expressive
Create content during follicular when I feel playful and fresh
Review and refine during luteal when I’m naturally discerning

The difference? I’m working less, with more impact. I feel more like myself. And I’m no longer trying to "balance it all." I’m dancing with the rhythm instead. Do I get it perfect all the time? Of course not, but in having awareness of where I’m at in my cycle, I can do less and maximize my levels of energy (instead of pushing 24/7-which wasn’t working anyway!)

A big part of cycle-syncing is the mindset shift it requires as well as the attunement to your body’s wisdom, which is where inner reflection, guidance, and embodiment practices come in.

Join me: The Feminine Flow Challenge

If you’re ready to break free from the pressure to be consistent and start honoring your rhythm, I invite you to join me for The Feminine Flow Challenge.

It’s a free 5-day journey to help you reconnect with your cycle, your creativity, and your energy—so you can stop burning out and start flowing.

We begin Monday, June 16th. You’ll learn how to: