5 false ideals you need to release to inhabit your feminine energy
Feminine energy, faith, and nervous system healing have been the key ingredients I’ve found that allows women to come home to their true selves, trust themselves, own their power, and soften into their emotional body.
I’m so devoted to helping high achieving women because I stand for seeing women show up as themselves in the world, not settling for should's or silencing their true nature, something that their mothers and grandmothers may have had to do to get by and survive in a previous patriarchal society.
It’s not just an individual level change when you do this inner work, but a societal and collective shift will also unfold as a result of you going on this journey (how cool is that!). Breaking free from the constraints of conditioning of what it means to be a woman is what I’m here to help with.
I coach to prevent the pain my past self experienced happening to other women
My past self, prior to learning about feminine energy, somatic work, spirituality, and nervous system healing, lived a one dimensional and “safe” life.
I was a career-driven woman that believed my worth was tied to my title and salary, I only felt like I was enough through my career successes.
I didn’t know who I was outside of the realm of achievement. And I know so many successful women who feel the same.
Why is that? Our culture is more focused on rewarding more masculine expression, which leaves women often struggling to see their value as emotional, intuitive, wise, and powerful beings.
In dating and relationships, being disconnected from my feminine energy meant I couldn’t let my guard down and express who I was outside of my career. Unfortunately, that version of myself attracted emotionally-unavailable men who couldn’t take the lead, be present, and hold space for me. Sound familiar?
Over time, I discovered these 5 traits and false ideals you need to let go of to invite your feminine energy in:
Perfection
Do you berate yourself for a typo or an error on a project? Do you allow yourself to show up imperfectly in your business or do you feel blocked in taking messy imperfect action?
Maybe you feel like you have to dress up or look a certain way to be seen and respected, women are so conditioned that we have ot show up flawless. Do you struggle with forgiving yourself for past mistakes? Or being vulnerable and admitting you’re not perfect?
Feminine energy is inherently messy and ever evolving, flowing. It has many directions (think of the oceans on mother earth).
One key takeaway from my training as a feminine embodiment coach was to allow for imperfection and showing up as you really are - and the coaching team embodying this gave me permission to as well. There materials would have spelling errors and the team would admit when they didn’t have an answer to a question they needed to take away with them. Honestly at first, it was triggering!
I dare you to leave the typo, celebrate taking your next messy imperfect action towards what you want (detach from the outcome), and release your identity that needs to be perfect to be accepted.
Not having standards
The feminine being has standards and she inherently knows her divinity deserves to be revered. Queen energy comes to mind: it’s not showy or outwardly proud, but it represents a deep inner well of self-worth and quiet confidence. Do you uphold standards in your relationships, your career? Or do you find yourself settling and taking what you can get?
This is the key mistake I see so many women making (and I made it too): believing that they have to stick with what’s ‘good enough’ instead of striving for excellent… and potentially experiencing disappointment or being rejected in the process.
It reflects a core belief of “I don’t believe I’m worthy of what I really want, so I’ll settle for what looks good enough.” There’s a fear here that we need permission to want it it is we truly want in life. Healthy feminine energy is crystal clear on her standards, so I invite you to reflect on what standards you hold, or do you change them whenever you feel like it?
An example: I see this come up with women dating, and how they won’t check in with how they’re feeling about a man, but instead their focus is conditioned to be on the man and if he’s attracted to them. Sure, he checks off some of the boxes of what you’re looking for, but does he really meet your upheld standards? What feelings does he evoke in you? Something to reflect on and check in with.
Need for control
Maybe being in control has served you in your work, it’s made you feel safe at least, when you know the next deadline, all the moving parts, and what actions you need to take. But what happens when life throws you a curveball… you lose your job, your current career no longer fulfills you like it once did, or a break up happens out of the blue?
Or how about when you're dating and you want to attract an empowered masculine man, but you can’t seem to let go of control to let him take the lead or support you.
How do you react then?
Having faith in a source outside of ourselves can help us sensitive feminine beings let go of some of this control, a maladaptive coping mechanism, and let ourselves be supported.
Mastering your nervous system can help you let go of the need to always be in control. When you get triggered from an outside circumstance, your system may go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.
When you don’t have an awareness of your bodily sensations, emotional shifts, and sensations, it’s easy to be overtaken by these primal responses. Regulating your nervous system gives you freedom from the very real emotions that get stirred up based on our past experiences.
A healthy nervous system creates safety for your authentic, trusting self to emerge.
The best part? You can do this with tools that only require your body, sense of smell, sound, and breath.
Chasing approval
Setting intentions based on external metrics or outcomes disconnects you from your feminine energy, your wholeness. Our minds can be sneaky and make us think we’ve set a goal or an outcome based on an inner desire, but without careful inquiry, self honesty, and digging, most of our surface level aspirations come attached to an external reward.
Instead, to inhabit your feminine energy, choose the feeling and your desired internal experience as a compass to set intentions for your life
Does this take a bit of trust and inner work? Yes, absolutely. The physical, manifested representation of a life that lights you up may not look like anything you’ve ever imagined (that’s what I’ve found) but you will likely find that it’s much more satisfying and fulfilling. That’s because it’s being created from your heart, your higher self, instead of your ego, mind, or toxic masculine energy, which is overly focused on achievement and recognition.
Prioritize fulfillment and approval of yourself by shifting your focus internally, building a relationship with your body, heart, and soul, (your inner library), and listening to what your body’s wisdom has to say.
Let go of the false belief that you’re only of value when you’re achieving and producing in the external world - the feminine being has an inherent value that is sourced through her heart and God.
Letting your mind drive your life
Do you get anxious, over-think, consider all the possible decisions… and feel most comfortable with intellectualizing how you’re feeling?
Instead of actually feeling and having an awareness of what’s going on internally?
Likely you’re functioning from your head (your masculine energy) much more than is needed.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe the mind serves us in logical decision-making and work, but it has it’s limitations when it comes to more heart and soul driven decisions.
Feminine energy requires you to live from your heart.
You may find that using your mind is NOT helping you trust your intuition and body to lead the way.
Ignoring your intuition or not having any connection to it (hello confusion) will keep you disconnected from your emotions and spiritual energy. Actually, I found that mindset work and spiritual teachings were a major reason why so many women became disconnected from their bodies, and only living from their heads. Living from your heart as a feminine being gives you back your energy, life force, and inner wisdom.
I hope this was supportive for you, in recognizing and letting go of these behaviors that hinder your feminine energy from emerging.
Emily Grace x
This is the work I support clients with in my 1:1 program, which you can learn more about here.
